I’ll be honest, the idea of dinner conversations always seemed like more of a setup for a family photograph or an Instagram post than something that actually happened. The reality of dinners was always more of a background of shared silence while Star Sports or Comedy Central (depending on which party got to the TV remote first) played in front of us. On rare occasions, it’d be a movie that everyone miraculously agreed to watch.
If you are a careful reader, you might have noticed my use of past tense in the previous paragraph. At this point you’re probably thinking my change of perspective is yet another new leaf turned in this time of world-wide house arrest- which at this point could be its own reality show (Oh wait. It already is.) But no. It wasn’t the pandemic that made me see past my idea of a setup, it was, in fact, college hunting.
Ah, this wonderful time of life, when a young girl realizes that her final year of college is going to begin soon and she has approximately six months before she has to start filling and sending out applications to a whole list of colleges, except she doesn’t have the list ready yet and therefore goes scourging through internet to figure out said list. I always thought of this as an exciting point of my life- exploring my area of specialization with all its possibilities (Yes, I’m that nerd. Sue me). So you can imagine my surprise when an untold side effect crept up on me- nostalgia.
You see, what no one told me was that when you spend enough time planning for a very possible and imminent future, the past and all the weight it carries in the present begins to hit you that much harder. You become aware of the fact that this isn’t just your last year in college. It’s the last year of hanging out with the same friends, the last year spent in your childhood home, the last year you spend in the city you grew up in. It’s the last year of family dinners.
So this time, when Star Sports plays, you’ll ask everyone which team they support this season of the IPL even though you know this is basically breaking out ‘World War- The Family Feud Edition’. But this time when you call your brother a traitor for not supporting CSK, you’ll smile. When Comedy Central happens to play, you’ll take the effort to explain the jokes your parents don’t get even if it kills the humor for you and you’ll do it with the same smile on your face. And the rare occasions of movie nights will be a lot more frequent because suddenly, incredibly eye-roll worthy Rajini films won’t seem so cringy anymore.
You also begin to realize, while you’re writing an article for the last issue of a college magazine that has been more like your extended family, that the aforementioned (I’ve always wanted to use that word in an article) final issue is sort of your family dinner conversation too. This is the last time we spend taking in each other’s words before we all retire to our rooms, only this time, we won’t be seeing each other the next morning. And yes, this is also my way of warning my juniors of the perilous side effect of college hunting. But most of all this is my way of saying goodbye to all of the wonderful seniors who have helped us and guided us and always been there for us (Samyuktha, Susanna, Shruti, I’m looking at you guys especially).
So before we retire for the night and return in the morning to find some of us gone, most of us changed and all of us older, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for this wonderful year, Team Stelly, it’s been one hell of a ride. The acceptance and camaraderie I found in everyone this past year is more than I am capable of being grateful for but I will still say it. Our beloved editor isn’t always too fond of votes of thanks but I still want to say it again. Thank you.
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