Vineetha A. V.
19/PELA/030
To: charlesbingley1998@mail.com
From: fitzwilliamdarcy@mail.com
Subject: Re: Is Elizabeth in love with you?
Dear Charlie,
It is obvious that Elizabeth is falling for me. I have been nothing but kind to her and I think she must have interpreted my kindness as love. You know how much she despised me when she joined college. She assumed that I’m arrogant and superficial because of the way I behaved during the freshers’ party. Well, I can’t blame her. But in my justification, I couldn’t possibly have told her that I was mean to her because it was part of a dare in the game we were playing, right? Anyway, I’m so glad that we found each other after months of misunderstanding. It was a relief when she finally smiled at me and decided to invite me to her party. And I can’t believe we’ve been friends for over two years now.
I know you felt at ease with her the moment you met her. You two have become really good friends and that makes me so happy. The past few months had been really enjoyable as we three were able to hang out with no qualms. Elizabeth and I were so excited when we came to know that you were spending the summer with us because we had classes and couldn’t come to you. She was overjoyed at the prospect of hanging out with two crazy boys. I admit that she makes me happy. I can tell that I make her happy too. She made life better for me here and has been there for me just like you would have, had you been studying here. I cannot ask for a better friend than you two, you know. But after your last email, I’ve been feeling confused. It did seem that Lizzie had feelings for me and that had made me paranoid.
How do I tell her that I do not feel that way about her without ruining what we have now? I’m so sorry that I ignored your emails and texts for two weeks. I was angry at you, Charlie, for assuming that I’m in love with her when I had clearly told you that I’m not. You, of all people, should have trusted me. I know I haven’t been myself lately and I had acted like a jerk to you. There has been a lot on my mind and I’m sure you must have noticed that I’m hiding something from you. I’ve never been the kind of person who had a lot of friends and I do not want to lose you, my best mate, just because I was stupid and took you for granted. Believe me when I say that you mean a lot to me and though we had to move away from each other after high school, I still haven’t met anybody who can be a better friend to me than you are. Yes, I know I just said that Lizzie is my best friend in college. That’s true. But Lizzie did not grow up with me, you did. She did not defend me in the locker room as the rest of the team bullied me for my lousy game. You did. She wasn’t there during my lowest in school, you were. And when you told me that she might have feelings for me, it scared me. I stopped talking to you because I was worried you were right. And yes, you were right. Yesterday when we were studying for the finals, she kissed me, Charlie. She said, “Fitzwilliam Darcy, I’m so glad that I found you. I think I’m falling in love with you. No, I am in love with you.”
I didn’t say anything in response. She left after a while and I knew I had to tell her the truth. I knew I had to tell you the truth. So, this morning, I went to her dorm and told her that I’m in love with someone else. Yes, Charlie, I’m in love with someone else. I know I should have told you, but I couldn’t. The longer I put off telling you the truth, the harder it became. I’m so sorry for lying to you, Charlie. You have always been there for me and what do I do in return? I hide the truth from you. I did hide the truth from everybody but I should have told you. But I want to come clean now, so here goes.
Charles Bingley, I love you. I have been in love with you since high school. Even before I realised that I was gay, I had fallen in love with you. All these years, I remained in the closet, choking, struggling for freedom, Charlie, after seven years of being in the closet, I’m coming out to you. I’m gay and I love you. I don’t know if you feel the same way about me but I had to tell you this. For hundreds of years, Darcies ended up with Elizabeths and Bingleys ended up with Janes. But I want to end up with you. I love you Charlie and I thought I should come out to you before it’s too late. I know you’ve blocked me on all social media so please get back to me when you see this email. I’m sorry for being a jerk. I love you and I’m sorry.
Hoping to hear from you soon,
With lots of love and apologies,
Your best friend,
Fitzwilliam Darcy
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